We got a visitor

My Mummy cousin wot is called Jacki came to visit. She is like my Mummy but she nawwower and got differwent colour hair.
Jacki and my Mummy talks and talks and talks and giggles and giggles.
Dem gone sumwhere yesserday and come home wif yukky fings and den dem all gone out to have dindins in a noo place.
Ho hum.
Jacki got a vewy nice handbag. Bernie has been sitting on it and smelling it.
Bernie can find out lots about a person fwom deir hand bag.
Jaffa is fwightened of Jacki but me tell her "Don't be fwightened cos she is our cousin too and she is a  nice cousin"
Luv fwom Bernie

My clever Mummy

My Mummy is a vewy clever Mummy and today she go to school in a speshul costume. It be a speshul day when people wear speshul cloves.
Dem all gets dwessed up as super hewos because dem all is super clever.
My Mummy be a sekwet super hewo called Captain Question.
My Gwand-ma even do her hair to look like a question. Here is some pikchas of my Mummy dwessed in her super Captain Question cloves.
And you can see how pwetty my Mummy is in de last pikcha.
Luv fwom Bernie.

Vale Bwwwww

Today we hear some vewy sad news. My vewy dood fwend Brrrr wot Bernie calls Bwwwww has died.
Him was 16 years old which is like 80 years old for a human. Brr is survived by his vewy nice Mummy wot is my Aunty Barbi. Brrr and me was vewy dood fwends.
Last time Brr came to see me we did not see each uvver for 18 munths before dat but as soon as Bernie and Brrr see each uvver we wun up and say hello wif a nose kiss.
Dat is because we do  not forget our vewy dood fwends.
Brr was getting a bit sick. Him had arfritis and  bung kidneys but him was OK. Den yesserday he just go and lie down on de nice gwass at his house and him decide to have a nice sleep dere and den him died.
Him find a vewy nice comfy place to die and him fwends de wallabies say bye bye to him.
Dat why he die dere. It so him fwends will know where him gone.
Bernie will find some nice pikchas of my dood fwend Brrr and put dem on dis blog.
Love fwom vewy sad Bernie.

Nuffing

Nuffing vewy interwesting happen today. Me had a sleep in fwont of de fwigerwater but dat was not interwesting. Evewybody keep nearly twipping over me. Dat a noosance. Go de uvver way. Can't you see Bernie is having a sleep?
Gwand-da talk on de phone lots but dat is just de same as evewy day.
Maybe my dood fwend Jacki come to visit. Dat will be dood.
Luv fwom Bernie

Waspbewwy Bumps

De uvver day Bernie and my Gwand-ma was waterwing de garden and we notice bumps on de waspbewwy plant.
Gwand-ma ask Bernie if me can see what dem is. We bofe looking closely but we can't see if dem is little gween waspbewwies or little flower buds. Maybe my Mummy will know.
Luv fwom Bernie

Bernie getting sick

Bernie getting sick. Me keeps bomitting up all my dindins. Gwand-da say Bernie eat too much dindins and it do not fit in Bernie tummy but dat not twue. Bernie can't help it. Maybe when my Mummy come home she will make Bernie get better. Me luv my Mummy.
Luv fwom Bernie

Bernie is good but de mushwooms is bad.

Today Gwand-da wouse at Bernie for doing a wee in de pantwy. But Gwand-da wowwied because Bernie wee is vewy dark bwown. Den Gwand-da find out it not Bernie doing a wee. It de mushwooms box leaking. We twying to gwow mushwooms in a white box in de pantwy.
Gwand-da say "Sorry Bernie, it was not your fault. But I am glad you do not have a problem with your wee."
Den dis evening Bernie want to go outside so me do my message of scwatching de couch wot means "Bernie wants to go outside"
Gwand-ma say "Don’t do that Bernie. It ruins the furniture. If you want to go outside, go to the front door and say Miaow”
So den Bernie walk vewy politely to de fwont door and me sit dere and say "Miaow"  just like Gwand-ma tell me to.
Den she say "Oh Bernie you are a good pussy cat." and she open dat door stwaight away for Bernie.
You see Bernie knows what peoples say and me can do what dem tell me if me want to.
Luv fwom Bernie

Showing Ollie how to do it

Today we was all out in de garden and a little fwend called Isabelle and her Mummy come to talk to us. Dem lives acwoss de woad fwom us. Den dat little puppy dog what live wif dem come to visit too. Dat puppy dog is called Ollie.
Bernie meow at him but not vewy much cos we is getting to know each uvver. Se we just gwowl a little bit.'Den Ollie go and do a poop on our gwass but him do not cover it up like a dood pussy cat do. Him Mummy has to cover it up for him.
So you know what? Bernie go and do a big poop too. And Bernie do a MUCH BIGGER POOP  dan Ollie and den me cover it up
and me cover it up
and me cover it up
and den Bernie cover it up again.
And Gwand-ma say "Oh good grief Bernie you have covered it up enough. Ollie saw you. Stop showing off".
Se me went away and find somewhere else to sit.
Luv fwom Bernie

Swimming

My Hughie is learning how to swim. He is de cleverwest boy in Tasmania. Bernie can't swim and me is like a 64 year old person and my Hughie is only nearly 6. But maybe if him gets to be 6 him is gwowing up and him wants to learn how to swim so him won't get dwownded.
Bernie do not even like it when Gwand-ma spway dat hose on  Bernie. Me wun away fast. Me fwightened me will get dwownded in de hose.
When my Hughie can swim maybe him will teach Bernie and den Bernie will not be fwightened.
Do me need to get a little pair of swimming pants?
Luv fwom Bernie

Chasing butterflies

My Hughie can chase butterflies. When Jaffa chase dem she jump up in de air fwee times higher dan her head and den she turn awound in de middle of de air and twies to fly. But she is a pussy cat and she can't fly. But she do look clever doing her ballet dancing. Gwand-ma say she might make a little tutu for her and take a pikcha of her doing dat chasing and put it on Utube and say it is a ballet dancing pussy cat. Hmmmph! Sounds like too much work. Why bovver?
It is getting hot and some of our new flowers goes all floppy so we has to give dem a little  big dwink.
Now Bernie is going to go and see if my Mummy comes home yet.
Luv fwom Bernie
PS Yesserday Bernie could not get outside so me did a wee in Gwand-ma shoe. Hee hee she get a big surpwise when she put her foot in it.  Squelsh!  Anyway she do not like dem shoes. Dem is old. Now she can buy new ones.

Dat would be funny

Yesserday Jaffa and me was outside in de side garden. Bernie was having a nice little west under de big Kuwwajong twee and just den two MagPies came and sit on de fence. Bernie say y-y-y-y-y-y-y which is de fing wot means birdies in cat language. Jaffa look up and she see dem too. Den dat silly cat fink she is going to pounce on dem and get dem.
She was cwouching down weady to pounce and she was wiggling her little bum and waving her tail fwom side to side getting weady to pounce. Bernie fink "Ho hum"  cos if she do pounce on dem big MagPies she get a big surpwise won't she?
Dem MagPies might eat her up for deir dindins.
But soon dem MagPies fly up into de twee and den dat little Jaffa can't see dem any more so she go back to chasing butterflies.
Luv fwom Bernie